Ron Weasley: Love Machine
by vuarapuung
Summary: What if Fleur had accepted Ron's invitation to the Yule Ball?


_What if Fleur had accepted Ron's request to the Yule Ball?_

When Harry returned to the Common Room after his disastrous attempt to ask Cho to the Yule Ball he found a mortified looking Ron with his head in his hands being consoled by his sister.

"What happened to him?" Harry asked.

"He – er - just asked Fleur Delacour to the Yule Ball," Ginny said

"What?"

"I was just walking past, she was talking to Diggory, something came over me and it just sort of – slipped out," Ron said.

"You kind of screamed it, actually. It was a bit frightening," Ginny added helpfully.

"Well, what did she say?" Harry asked. "She didn't say yes, did she?" The only response Ron could muster was to gulp and nod.

"What happened then?"

"I dunno, I just kind of ran," Ron said. "If you love me at all, kill me now, Harry. Ginny won't do it – she's a wuss."

"You'll be fine?" Ginny suggested, giving him a not-too reassuring pat on the arm.

"What the hell do I do now?" Ron asked.

"Well, at least you've got a date."

"Why on Earth would she still want to go out with me after I ran screaming away from her?"

"Now, Ron, you're being silly," Ginny reassured him. "It was a very _manly_ scream."

"You were right about her – her Grandmother was a Veela," Harry said.

"So she's part sex demon as well, then," Ron said. "Even if I did go to Ball with her, what would I even do or say? What would I even _wear_?"

"Actually," Ginny said with a poorly suppressed giggle. "You'd look pretty funny in those dress robes. Might give everyone a bit of a laugh."

Ron groaned. It was then that Hermione arrived to the scene.

"Ron? Are you alright?" she asked.

"He's apparently got himself a date for the Yule Ball," Harry said.

"Oh, he asked Eloise Midgeon then?" she said smugly.

"No, Fleur Delacour."

Hermione's face dropped in horror. "F-fleur? Fleur Delacour the Beauxbaton's Champion?"

"The very same," Harry confirmed.

"Well, good for you, Ron." She managed a very weak looking smile. "I'm sure you two will have a good time. If you'll excuse me, I just need to lie down."

She left looking somewhat disturbed, but Harry didn't have time to follow her. He'd just spotted Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown and decided to make one last play to find a date.

#

After watching Ron squirm for several days as he wondered whether or not Fleur was seriously going with him to the Yule Ball he was approached in the Great Hall after dinner by one of the Beauxbatons students – Jacques - who turned out to be something of an aspiring stylist. He was quite forceful in getting Ron upstairs to have a look at his dress robes – Harry and the rest of the Gryffindor boys tagged eagerly along.

"No, no, this simply will not do," Jacques said as soon as he laid eyes on Ron's robes. He turned to and tossed the robes to Seamus. "Here, I insist that you take these outside and burn them, where they can never harm anyone ever again." He turned back to Ron, a tape measure suddenly in hand. "Fleur will be in silver, for you it will be something simple to match. Perhaps black." He began taking seemingly random measurements of an increasingly uncomfortable looking Ron.

"I can't really afford anything fancy," he said.

"Nonsense. Fleur has already paid for everything, and I will not have her standing there in my finest creation beside unkempt oaf. Speaking of which, I will be cutting your hair."

"My hair?"

"Yes, frankly I am concerned by this style of longer hair among the boys of Hogwarts." Jacques shot a scowl at where Harry and the others were watching from the doorway. "Are there no barbers in this accursed castle?"

Jacques spun around and began running his hand through Ron's hair. Harry and the others howled with laughter at the sheer look of panic on his face.

"Yes, your shading is magnifique, once we work on the length," he dropped down to his knees to take a few last measurements.

"One question, Monsieur Weasley, do you dress to the left or the right?" he asked, looking up.

"What?" Ron said.

"You know, do you have your wand to your left, or right?"

"My wand's in my pocket?"

"No, no, your _other_ wand."

Ron cast another horrified look to the doorway as if hoping for support, but his alleged best friend was struggling to breathe from laughter.

#

The walk from the Gryffindor Tower to the Entrance Hall the night of the Yule Ball was held up by Ron stopping at every suit third suit of armour to check his hair was alright. Jacques had ran rampant through the boys in the Gryffindor Common Room, and now Harry and Ron were sporting much tighter haircuts. Parvati at least seemed to find the whole thing rather amusing.

"For the last time, Ron, your hair is fine!" Harry snapped, finally having had enough. "If you don't get moving she'll have to find another date."

This got Ron in gear. He followed Harry and Parvati's brisk pace down the last flight of stairs.

"Hey, who do you think Hermione's date is?" he asked. Harry rolled his eyes. So far that day his hair had been the only thing Ron had talked about more than this.

"I hope she's not lying. It'd be a shame if she missed this," Ron continued, apparently unconcerned that both Harry and Parvati had given up listening to him.

In the Entrance Hall Ron was quickly greeted by Jacques, who immediately swept him over to where Fleur stood waiting it what was admittedly a stunning silver-grey dress and began fussing over his hair. Harry had to admit that Ron cleaned up quite well, and didn't look totally out of place beside Fleur – at least with Ron's most recent growth spurt they were of similar height.

McGonagall called Harry and Parvati over to join the other Champions. Harry smiled at a very pretty Cho and then glared at Cedric. He cast his eyes over Krum, who looked quite impressive in his dress robes, and his date, a pretty witch glaring at Ron.

"Harry, it's Hermione," Parvati whispered. He'd been so focused on, er, other things that he hadn't even realised Krum's date was his best friend! Ron appeared not to have noticed either, given how entranced he now seemed by a very pleased looking Fleur. This did nothing to lessen the intensity Hermione's glare.

Once inside Harry tried to twist things at the Champions table as best he could to wind up next to Ron, but Percy Weasley appeared at Harry's right side. For some reason Parvati wanted to sit on Harry's other side, and Harry wound up opposite Ron at the table, who was now stuck between Fleur and Hermione.

Harry shot him a look to remind him of the brief lessons Ginny had given them how to talk to girls. _Ask simple questions. Smile and nod at her stories. Try not to barf._

Percy engaged Harry in conversation all about his dealings at the Ministry, leaving a slightly neglected Parvati to interject occasionally whenever she could. Meanwhile Fleur was delighting in telling Ron every one of the one hundred and one things she absolutely could not stand about Hogwarts. Ron nodded and stared vacantly at her, as if eating, breathing and listening was more than he could manage at the same time.

Krum's seemed much more impressed with Hogwarts. He was doing his very best to convey this to Hermione, but she seemed only to be half listening - Ron still hadn't acknowledged her since they'd sat down. She met Harry's eyes across the table, and he tried to give her an apologetic smile. She rolled her eyes, though now she turned to give Krum her full attention.

"And if there was a poltergeist at Beaxbatons he would be expelled _like zat_!" Fleur said, slapping a hand on the table.

"Yeah, _like zat_," Ron said, echoing her sentiment. There was a brief pause in the conversation while Ron's brain fumbled for what to say next. "Although, there must be something you like about Hogwarts."

Fleur stopped, deep in thought for a moment. "I suppose all the oddities do give the castle a certain _je ne sais quoi."_

"A certain what now?"

"Je ne sais quoi," Fleur repeated. "Like an unknown charm. Yes, perhaps Hogwarts is not so bad. You are very insightful, Ronald."

Hermione paused whatever she was saying to Krum, apparently too horrified to carry on.

Once the food was served and the tables swept away to allow the Champions to open the dance, Harry found himself mercifully taken away from having to worry about his friends and instead faced with the prospect of dancing with an actual girl.

Parvati was quite keen on dancing, but Harry less so. He eventually managed to pass her off on a friend of Jacques. Relieved, he made his way over to the seats at the side with a Butterbeer in hand and scanned the room for his friends.

Both Hermione and Ron seemed to be enjoying themselves with their respective partners. Ron in particular seemed engrossed in Fleur, staring straight at her and allowing her to lead. Soon though the Champions began switching partners and after a brief dance with Cho that made Harry seethe with jealousy and briefly renounce their friendship, Ron began dancing with Hermione.

Harry watched as they began moving together, Ron's eyes still fixed on where Fleur was dancing with Krum. Then something caught his attention – Harry suspected Hermione might have resorted to clearing her throat – and Ron suddenly sprang back from her, as if truly seeing her for the first time.

"Hermione!" he exclaimed. "How – how are you? You look -." But it was too late. Hermione had turned and began running out of the Hall as fast as her heels could carry her. Krum dashed after her, his face a picture of confusion. Once out in the Entrance Hall he spun left, calling Hermione as she made her way up the stairs. Ron watched them flee in perplexed silence, before Fleur approached him from behind and grabbed what looked like a healthy handful of Weasley booty and whispering something in his ear that made him light up brighter than any decoration on the Hogwarts Christmas tree. They too made their way out of the Great Hall, though once through the doors they turned towards the grounds.

Ditched by his friends and his date, Harry decided his night, too, was coming to a close. On his way out he was stopped by Cedric, who insisted on giving him a cryptic clue for solving his Egg.

#

Back in the Common Room Harry met with Hermione, who was sitting solemnly alone by the fireplace.

"Hey, you alright, Hermione?" Harry asked on approach.

"Oh, I'm fine," Hermione said, though she didn't look it. Harry dropped down into the seat opposite her, scanning her face briefly to note the make up around her eyes was a little muddled now.

"Krum came after you," Harry said.

"Yes, Viktor he – wanted to say good night," she said with a smile.

"Was he -?"

"Don't worry, Harry, Viktor was a perfect gentleman," she said with a smile. "_Unlike some_."

"Ron's an idiot, and Fleur was working him all night with her Veela magic," Harry said. "You did look very pretty. How did you do that with your hair?"

A suddenly much happier looking Hermione started telling Harry all about Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and Scalp Treatment, while the rest of the House began making their way up to their beds. She was just lamenting how much hassle it would be for everyday use when Ron finally made his appearance through the Portrait Hole, his face wearing a familiar dazed expression as he sank into an armchair beside them.

"You alright, Ron?" Harry asked. "How was your night?"

"Magical," Ron breathed.

"Where did you and Fleur disappear to?" Harry asked.

"Oh, we went for a moonlit walk. Then we made out in a rose bush for a while. And then she blew me."

"W-what?" Hermione coughed out.

"Yeah, right there in the bushes. Then Snape came along and took a hundred points away from Gryffindor just as I came." He shot them a dreamy grin. "Worth it."

Hermione huffed in disgust and made her way to bed, pausing only to inform Ron that his mother would not approve. Ron remained unmoved, and this left Harry to ponder his friend in silence.

#

There appeared to be a silent pact between Ron and Hermione to never mention the Yule Ball again. The next few weeks passed amicably, with them both helping Harry plan how to survive underwater for the Second Task. Privately Ron had told Harry that he and Fleur had agreed (which sounded suspiciously like Fleur had flat out told him) that it was just a one night thing for the Yule Ball and no attachments or anything like that. However Harry noticed Ron spent a lot more time staring into space with a dreamy expression than he did before.

After the Second Task, however, when he pulled Ron and Fleur's sister out of the lake things changed.

"My sister, you saved her," Fleur exclaimed to Harry. "Even though she was not your hostage." She kissed Harry gratefully on each cheek, before turning to Ron. "And you; you helped."

She promptly jumped Ron's bones and began kissing him passionately. Hermione huffed in disgust while Krum tried to get her attention about a water beetle or something. Harry tried to look away as his friend began rolling around the ground with Fleur in his arms.

They barely seemed to pause for breath. They finally broke their embrace only when Fleur's scores were read out.

"I deserved zero!" she cried.

"I dunno, I'd certainly have given you one," Ron replied. This prompted more kissing. Hermione was actually trembling in her seat beside Harry as the rest of the scores were read. She really tried her best to sound pleased he was in joint first, but her voice still wobbled a bit.

Preparations for the Third Task were much more disturbed now that Ron and Fleur were officially an item. With Ron off spending long hours with his new girlfriend, Harry and Hermione were forced to do much of their prep work without him. At least they knew the maze awaited them, and they had a pretty decent strategy for how to navigate it.

"Still, we could do with a third person to practice things on," Hermione said. "Something to let out - you know - _our rage._"

They'd been in Professor McGonagall's classroom at this time, and one of the desks found themselves on the wrong end of a particularly venomous one of Hermione's Reductor Curses.

Meanwhile, Ron continued to fight the good fight.

"I am sabotaging the enemy from within," he assured Harry that night. "While I keep her distracted with – er – other things, she has less time to prepare. Frankly, if Hermione cared about you at all she'd been working the same magic on Krum."

Harry privately decided against suggesting anything of the sort to Hermione.

The day of the Third Task came. Exams had meant Ron and Fleur couldn't dedicate as much time trying to eat each other's faces as they otherwise would have preferred so things were going rather well until Fleur bounced over to the Gryffindor table at breakfast to inform Ron that she was just dying to introduce him to her parents. She dragged him away from the breakfast table leaving Hermione staring straight ahead and trembling slightly in fury.

"Hermione?" Harry asked.

"How – how nice," she said through the most gritted of gritted teeth. "I am very happy for Ron. Now, I'm just going to go to my History of Magic exam first, and then I'm going to throw myself off the top of the Astronomy Tower.".

It turned out Mrs Weasley and Bill had come to be Harry's support in the final task. Had Harry known they were there he would have rushed through to the little room beside the Great Hall earlier to see the awkward introductions. As it was he arrived just in time to hear this gem.

"You must be very proud to have raised such gentlemen, Madame Weasley," Fleur said. "I have never known such a proficient and generous lover as your son. Is that the English word?" She turned to Ron. "Proficient?"

"Well, I've got a History of Magic test," Ron said. "Wish me luck."

He dashed out of the room as quick as he could, leaving Mrs Weasley looking mortified and Bill roaring with laughter.

#

It was the last day of term, and Fleur and Ron were saying their goodbyes.

"You're breaking up with me?" Fleur asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I had a great time with you, but I think it's time," Ron said.

"Is it the distance? Because I've applied for a job in Gringotts to improve my English," Fleur said. Ron held up two hands to reassure her.

"It's not that. It's just there's someone else. This friend that I've kind of always had feelings for."

"Is it Harry?"

"No, it's not Harry."

"Are you sure? Because I've never been dumped by a straight man before."

Ron shot her a puzzled look. "Jacques," she said. Ron nodded.

"No, it's definitely a girl – though maybe it took me a while to notice. Hey, I did have one question though; why did you say yes to me? I just screamed a question at you about going to the Yule Ball."

Fleur pondered this for a moment. "I just had a good feeling about you. Maybe I could see the sweet, kind, heroic man hidden behind." She ran a finger along his chin. "Or maybe I had just been rejected by Diggory thirty seconds before and I was already sensitive because of my period, who knows?"

She kissed him one last time. "I hope this girl knows how lucky she is. I've never known a man quite like you, Ronald Weasley. If only you had a brother."

"Fleur," Ron said. "It's funny you should say that..."


End file.
